Tag Archives: unicorns


10 Nov


I am too busy making LIFE EVENTS HAPPEN to write you a proper post.  I know your disappointment is intense.  “This is like my parents telling me I’m getting an iPhone for Christmas, but instead I got a booklet of coupons for free food off the dollar menu from Arby’s!”  I’ve pretended you said.  I am so flattered that my lack of posting is equivalent to a scarring Christmas fake memory.  But wait!


I drew you a picture of a unicorn instead.  It’s green because it’s dead.  Or undead, rather.  It’s a zombie unicorn.  Can’t you tell?

This is art.  The epitome of high-brow pretension.  Monet, Van Gogh, make room for me.

Can’t you see how this masterpiece fully encompasses the meaning of life, death, hopes, and failure?  If you answered no,well, you should probably go find some corner of the interweb that’s more suited to your intellectual needs.  Try Livejournal, or Kanye West’s Twitter.  Or www.marvelousmanboobs.com, for you primordial type folks.

I think I have sufficiently enriched your lives for the time being.  You are welcome.

Cheers bitches,



WTF Sad News of the Day

14 Jul

How many interview rejections is too many before it gets not only sad, but absurd?  Is it a dozen?  Is it fifty?  100?

Laurie-Ellen Shumaker has gotten rejected 1,000 times. She has a top notch law degree, 23 years of experience, and Multiple Sclerosis (which is not a qualification or an accomplishment by any means, it just sucks).  She can’t even get a job as a daycare worker.  If that doesn’t make you go WTF in righteous indignation, well, I’d like for you to go to the land of Oz, ask for this guy called “The Wizard,” and see if he can give you a heart.  I hear he’s been handing them out these days.

You have to admire Laurie-Ellen’s perseverance.  I’m sure a lot of us would have been inclined to give up after rejection 478 or so.  It kinda makes you wonder, if people like her can’t get a job, who can?  Her story illustrates the job-search frustration.  As Laurie-Ellen brilliantly sums up, “Interviews are like seeking unicorns.”  (Does anyone else think this woman is probably an awesome grandma?)

Her story could perpetuate the notion that job hiring is all basically a crapshoot in the end.  But if it’s all a crapshoot, why didn’t the crap ever shoot on Laurie-Ellen?  Statistically, she should be at least a little poo-flicked.  What are employers looking for that the seemingly perfect candidate doesn’t have?  In the words of Adam Lambert, “Whataya want from me?”