Archive by Author

Happy Turkey Day!

23 Nov

Prepare yourself for brilliance. And by brilliance, I mean tacky Thanksgiving jokes. How is this job related, you ask? Don’t ask silly questions, I say.

What key has legs and can’t open doors?
A Turkey.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

What are the feathers on a turkey’s wings called?
Turkey feathers

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes – a building can’t jump at all

Where did the first corn come from?
The stalk brought it

Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam

 

Sixth Time’s The Charm?

16 Nov

Today I got hired for my sixth internship. As those (2) people who are regular readers will remember, I had hoped that my fifth internship would be my last. I am totally this dude, ready to fly one more kite even though the last five didn’t work out so well. Hope springs eternal, eh?

So what will I be doing this time, you ask? I’ll be working in the corporate department of a humongous, worldwide PR company. Selling out? Maybe. But this internship pays to the tune of $12 an hour. And I’ve been told many times over, “PR can be anything you want it to be,” so I am choosing not to dwell on the size of the company or its roster of clients (including Wal Mart) and instead focus on the possibilities of PR intersecting with my interests in storytelling and filmmaking.

In sum, I’m going to say it again, even though it will come back to haunt me: Hopefully this sixth internship will be my last.

Juggling Act

12 Nov

I am now a juggler.

I never wanted to be one. In fact, in my one attempt at actual juggling, I didn’t make it past the plastic bag version. I certainly didn’t manage to ever juggle more than one bean bag, and couldn’t ever juggle a single knife. I am very good at mono-tasking to the world’s incessant multi-tasking. Some people tell me this is good, a lost art as it were. Certainly A.J. Jacobs would agree.

So you can see how it wouldn’t be the easiest thing for me to be a juggler. Last night I took the subway from my internship writing for a financial blog to a screening of IRUBNY for coverage with the New York Press, then went home and took a writing test for a possible internship with Cohn & Wolfe. Today I have to write the coverage of the movie I would have written last night, then have whatever Friday night fun I was hoping I’d be able to have before job hunting online (just my favorite nighttime activity, how about you?).

So I juggle. I run from one current job towards the possibility of a future job and try to keep everything in the air without dropping the ball. And let me tell you, it’s exhausting.

The Vicious Cycle

9 Nov

I’ve finally figured out what I want to do with my life in the world! (sort of!) Huzzah!

As the two or three of you who avidly read this blog know, I want to be a writer. Cue the laughter.

That’s right. I want to spread my own brand of insight and intelligence all over the web and world as if my ideas and opinions are more important than anyone else’s. Because I feel self-important that way. Hell, when I’ve just finished a winner of an article, I feel like freakin’ Shakespeare. All hail this generation’s newest and most wonderful wordsmith.

Dreams are all warm and fuzzy, but I’m realizing reality is much more cold. I’ve been sending out something like 10 letters a week, offering to WORK FOR FREE, and I got only one response:

As you know, we love video on our website (especially when it allows me to pose nude). That said, our top priority right now is just getting our newspapers out — and we are VERY short-staffed. What you describe is very appealing, but there really is no way to work you into our system given the current restrictions we have over here.

Sorry, but thanks.
This is officially a low point. A short-staffed newspaper can’t afford to take me on for free (um, hello, I could be the tall staff writer that ends your short-staffed-ness!).
Knowing what I want to do may only be the first battle of the war. I’ve found my personal legend, but achieving it is another matter entirely. Too bad I don’t have the world conspiring to help me out … damn you Paulo Coelho and your unrealistic self-help books masquerading as graphic novels!

October’s Unemployment Statistics

5 Nov

Welcome to my new internship. I write for this financial website, angling to be the number one in it’s field through clever SEO wrangling and easy to read, consumer friendly articles.

I didn’t write this one, but October’s unemployment statistics are in. Pat yourself on the back, 151,000 jobs were added to the US economy, but don’t get too excited, unemployment is holding at 9.6 percent. The two sectors that benefited the most were education and health services and retail.

Don’t worry if you are still (like me) among the unemployed, though. Obama said he would not rest until “everybody who is looking for a job can find one.”

So trust the president, I guess, and we’ll all be out of this mess in no time.

Fifth Time’s The Charm

2 Nov

On Thursday I will begin my fifth internship. I am crossing every finger and toe I’ve got that this fifth one is my last. Even in this economy, five seems a bit excessive, right? Whatever practical skills needed learning before I was job-ready have been learned, and at this point I am doing the work of an employee without the title or pay.

This new venture is with AD:60, a startup ad agency in DUMBO, Brooklyn. I will be doing basically the same thing that I do for the New York Press (write blog posts on current news, longer articles aimed at consumers and some videos to provide visual spark) except this time I’m writing for a financial website.

Anybody find the humor yet? I must have sold myself pretty damn well (not knowing a lick about finance and all) for them to be “very impressed with me.” I think when they asked me how I felt about writing for finance, I said, “A writer’s job is to sound passionate and knowledgable about stuff that they are neither passionate nor knowledgable about.” True enough. And when I consulted with my friend Diana, who actually works in the finance world, she claimed that the entire industry is the blind leading the blind. Which also makes sense given our current economic straights.

So maybe I am qualified to write for a finance blog after all. And maybe, just maybe, two or three months down the road this tiny startup will need another full time employee. Please let the fifth time be the charm …

A New Tactic

29 Oct

I had an epiphany. Not the kind that sends off light bulbs in bubbles over cartoon heads with that “ping” sound effect, but still. An epiphany is an epiphany, no matter how small. (Just because Dr. Seuss never got around to writing that one, doesn’t make it less true)

My tiny epiphany was that my ideal job doesn’t exist yet. I want to be a writer/video maker/awesome new kind of reporter who uses all the mediums at her liberal-artisty disposal to tell stories. I want to be the renaissance woman of the weekly gossip rag, riding the internet wave to fame and fortune as the first to really integrate video and writing as a holistic method of reporting for the web.

Pretty exciting, no? (and get your own damn dream, you people out there saying, “Huh, that’s a cool job idea”) The only problem is that I’m not going to find a listing for this job on craigslist, or monster, or anywhere. It’s the kind of job the papers don’t know they need someone to fill just yet.

So, what do I do? I draft a letter to these papers and magazines kindly explaining why they need to hire someone to start making multi-media articles NOW before everyone is doing it. And I offer to do this funky new job for whatever they want to pay me, for one month, just so they can test it out.

It seems the best way for print media to survive the internet is to embrace it, expanding its online presence through multi-media articles featuring databases, slideshows and video content. I am a writer and filmmaker seeking to exercise both these skills as a multi-media reporter. Hire me for a month at whatever salary you deem appropriate. At the end of this time, if you are happy with my services, bring me on as a full time employee. If you are not satisfied, let me go. With very little risk, you can attract new viewers to your website by offering a holistic style of reporting few publications have yet adopted.

As a multi-media reporter, I would create original video content to accompany traditional articles and also design specifically cross-media content. For a restaurant review, I could create a short video chronicling both the meal (lending a visual angle to commentary) as well as the meal’s preparation in the kitchen (to add material unavailable within the written review). During my time at the New York Press, I created a short video to accompany an article I wrote about the first Nuite Blanche festival in New York, as well as a film covering a free CMJ concert by DOM. Multi-media reporting could potentially revive a stale column or simply serve as a more complete version of event coverage. The possibilities and market for such content is potentially limitless.

A filmmaker with a BA from Middlebury College, I have completed three internships in the field, working with media producers in Providence, Boston and Los Angeles for such networks as Animal Planet, Discovery Channel and ABC Family. As a professional, I have worked for the PBS series Planet Forward, and international PR firm Cohn & Wolfe. I am a writer for the New York Press and City Arts, a blogger for Examiner.com and Liberarlart.us, and a film critic quoted by Rotten Tomatoes.

I look forward to discussing this unique offer with you at your earliest convenience.

With an offer like that, somebody’s got to bite, right? Right? RIGHT?

Then WHAM! When I’ve proven my worth and made all this cool stuff for their website, they’ll have to hire me, because the month is up.

Pretty sneaky, eh?