Phone Interviews

16 Sep

To ease stress, interviews are best conducted on hamburger phones. Juno is clearly in control here.

Ugh.  Phone interviews.  What an unpleasant way for someone to get to know why you’re a great person.  You, the interviewer, are mildly interested at best, and are more concerned with logging in my responses into your laptop so you can properly review them later.  I, the interviewee, I have to clearly, concisely, and eloquently organize my 23 years of life experiences in an attractive manner that proves my workplace capabilities.  And I have to do it according to your whim, and sometimes over a shit-tastic phone connection.  If I stumble or succumb to nerves, you’ll count that against me–do you even realize how much I have to accomplish in a 30 minute conversation, and how stressful that is when I really want this job?

A week or so later, I may get invited to the next round, or you may send a formulaic rejection letter.  I hate those.  I’ve shown you all my best traits, and you’ve examined and dissected everything I’m proud of and said, “Ehhhhhh….nah.”  Ouch.

UPDATE: Man, re-reading my post later this afternoon exposed how whiny and emo I can be.  Was I goth kid in another life?

In case it wasn’t clear, I’m interviewing at a couple charter schools, and I don’t think the process is going as well as I’d like.  But really, it’s no one’s fault but my own.  Also, who knows how it’s going to turn out in the end?  There’s no point in jumping the shark–might as well wait for the shark to bite my leg off, or for the shark to offer me a spot as his “Executive Assistant Mauler.”  If I resign myself to failure just because I don’t like the system that all candidates need to pass through in order to become a mauler, I may never maul at all.  Resigning=stupid and unproductive.  Whining about it=annoying and unproductive.  Sharks=surprisingly picky about their assistants.


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