Epiphanies Can Leave Bruises

5 May

Our Toyota Sienna has one of those nifty automatic sliding doors.  Yesterday, I tried to race it.  I lost.

I think this may be why I can’t get a job.  “An outstanding candidate for the role of _____ position” would have successfully escaped the clutches of the Swagger Wagon. Machines have repeatedly made me their bitch or, evidently, tried to eat me.  Employers, with their magical psychic abilities (I think they’re wizards or something) can tell that I am not tech savvy or efficient as I proclaim in my cover letters, and thus pass me over for someone who can use technology to quickly reach company goals.  Or at least someone who can properly use car doors.

This is, tragically, an accurate depiction of said event. Look at that thing. It's hungry.


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